AFRICAN PECULIARITIES: Growing up

Life is made up of blocks, a thin line separating one block from another. No matter how old one is, the inner child is and always will be a part of them. So here are some of the blocks that I believe everyone can relate with.

17-19 years- the all-knowing stage

Photo by Scott Webb- Unsplash

You are fresh out of high school, or at least teetering towards the edge of the most torturous period in the history of your existence. At this point, you have a boyfriend or girlfriend stashed away somewhere, and you can swear by Apollo that you will get married to each other. Once you say ‘I love you’ however, you realize that it is all you have to offer. You still cling on to that good old feeling until you are out of high school and you realize that your boyfriend or girlfriend was the ugliest person you had ever seen. When you were in love with them, it was paradise, but growing up has given you alternatives. Now your mother is mad because she saw you with Kelvin, and your father is checking you from the corner of his eyes because he has heard that you were roaming around Mary’s house. They tell you that the two of you are not meant to be, and in your anger, you storm into your room and lock the door. When you come out, they confiscate your phone and beat you raw. Still you cannot stop, for your love has been sanctioned by heaven itself. Here memes, screenshots and Indian videos are your idea of the perfect love

20-23 years- the second adolescence

 

Photo by Erik- Unsplash

Campus or college has come calling and your blood has developed a tendency to flood to areas known for spontaneity and need. For the first time you agree that your father and mother were right about Mary and Kelvin, for now you have a wider pool to choose from. Boys come into contact with slay queens who ransack them dry and young girls realize that soap operas were all lies. They learn that love and money truly go hand in hand and then young boys are jilted and old men embraced. With freedom at their behest, wild behaviour is possible. The pendulum might spring from extreme debauchery to extreme destruction of self esteem. The debauchers think they know what they are doing and parties and weed and music becomes their lifestyle. The ‘bombed’ drown their sorrows in their books, and when graduation comes calling, many debauchers learn that they did not sit three cats in year two, and the ‘esteemed’ realize that there are no jobs even with a first class, because you require three years experience in anything.

24-27 years- the tarmacking stage

Photo by Yiegan Mierle- Unsplash

Out of campus now, you have abandoned that pair of shoe that kept your bed warm in those reckless days. The focus shifts to finding a virgin and a church woman to bring home to your mother. The used woman realizes that time is fast running out on her. The old men have gone back to their families, or maybe into a younger girl’s arms. The backup boyfriend has realized that they are of the same age and their ‘love’ was only born to die. She therefore finds a long, polite dress and sneaks into the praise and worship team, the stench of their past masked by the odour of ‘whoreliness’ when they sing and jump for the lord, the same way they used to sing and jump for the rod, and some unlucky dude can now catch up with them. The guys who were nerds in campus are starting companies, and the cool kids are still in their mother’s houses studying ‘online’, gambling and looking forward to the next bash. Some nerds are still searching for jobs, for all they can do is define but can never apply. They know where the headquarters of all the offices in Nairobi are, and since they cannot find a relevant job with a degree in Biochemistry, they end up a B.O.M teacher at a long forgotten institute while waiting for the Lord to return.

28-35 years- the procreation stage

Photo by Insung Yoon

The new arrival was supposed to be the bundle of joy, but now, nobody is sleeping. It seemed cool to have it when you were young, but now it is gobbling money faster that you drank your school fees. Unmarried and with a kid, you can now understand why your parents could not afford bread every morning or meat once a week. The child cries, and the woman feels tears of exasperation coming to her eyes. She feels like taking it back to the mother but then remembers that they are no longer in talking terms. The married one realizes that she married the wrong man, but she has already been exchanged with a number of cows and it is too late to turn back now. Inevitable sadness finally begins to take shape. It is a phase where you remember the good old days you missed, and all that you did not do right returns to haunt you. For those who made the right choices, this is the time when the fruits are beginning to be very visible. Some are running their own businesses, others are climbing up the corporate ladder, and others are climbing hills looking for jobs. These are the days when you begin to see that your parents were always right.

36-45 years- chickens are coming home to roost

Photo by Zosia Korcz- Unsplash

Remember when your father told you not to leave the lights on during the day, or to close the tap when you were done washing your hands? Remember the infinite wisdom you had, making yourself believe that it was still dark and your mother was overreacting? Well, the chickens have come home to roost, for it is in the middle of the day and your adolescents have left everything on, including the security lights. You need the peace of mind, but your son is playing Linkin Park at full blast. Your daughter is mad because you told her you don’t want to see Kelvin in your house again. Sounds familiar?

46-60 years- overtime

 

Photo by Ajeet Mestry- Unsplash

For some, death is rattling their cages. The alcohol of their younger days is catching up with their livers. Some are thinking about early retirement while others are still living in rental houses, and probably will for life. The allure of their early days is lost to them. The beauty of their early days has been replaced by sagged flesh in all corners, and now they realize that personality is what really matters. Everyone is reaping from the fruits of their labour now. Some are reaping from apple orchards and others from cactus plants. Life has filled some with wisdom and others regret.

These are the cycles in the lives of almost everyone. It is sad that we only know how right or wrong we are when it is too late for anything to change.